The Late-Night Comics on the Election Results

The Late-Night Comics on the Election Results:

"'This week, on Tuesday night, in an ironic turnaround, Iraq brought regime change to the U.S.' --Amy Poehler

'What a day for the Democrats. They've won the House of Representatives, they are poised to take the Senate as well, Donald Rumsfeld has resigned, and this just in, Dick Cheney came out as gay.' --Jon Stewart

'President Bush held a news conference where he vowed to work with the new Democratic majority, which, if true, can mean only one thing: the Democrats have a nuclear bomb.' --Amy Poehler

'It's ironic because Republicans always wanted to appeal to minorities. Now they are one.' --Jay Leno

'The only Republican now with a mandate is Congressman Mark Foley.' --Jay Leno

'There were many reports of problems with the voting machines yesterday, especially with touch-screen voting machines. In fact, in Congressman Mark Foley's district, some of the machines were touched inappropriately.' --Conan O'Brien

'Big, big win for the Democrats. Senator Hillary Clinton's overwhelming victory has fueled speculation that she will run for president in 2008. In other words, there was some good news for Republicans.' --Conan O'Brien

'The new Speaker of the House is Nancy Pelosi. She had lunch today with President Bush, but the lunch honestly did not go well. She would not pass him anything he asked for.' –David Letterman

'You know what really gets me, Democrats didn't even win this thing, the Republicans lost it. They ran away from the president. 'Hey, the ship's in trouble, quick, let's drown the captain!' We were this close to Jesus coming back. And you Republicans that turned your back on the president are going to wander in the desert for the next two years. Literally, someone's going to have to replace those troops in Iraq.' --Stephen Colbert "