The Nightly Quickie

Israel Hits Tower in Beirut; says more bombing to come. Oil companies and weapon manufacturers jump for joy.

One side prefers an immediate ceasefire, the other more hostilities. I wonder which is which? Hm....

Homeland Security Department praised for its response. Stopping 1 out of 10 is not that bad. [/sarcasm]

U.S. envoy asks China to release activist who was detained after exposing forced abortions and sterilizations in eastern China. The odds of this happening are about as good as us hearing the truth about what actually happened during the 9/11 attacks. Hang it up, dream on...not going to happen.

China hit by strongest typhoon in decades. Official government denies scientific data; just says a little rain and flooding happened. You know how this whole truth thing works with Communist regimes.

More U.S. cities and states bypassing the Bush Administration on ways to curb global warming. Government that works for the people...what an interesting a new fad. A truly amazing ideology.

Plot to bomb U.S.-bound jets is foiled. Karl Rove and G.W. seen jumping for joy as they can now scare people with the whole terror game again.